I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
