Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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