Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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