ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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