Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
