Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
