How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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