i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
i would punch a child for taco bell
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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