so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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