I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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