NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
