Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize