covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
