I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
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