Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
