people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Bring me that man meat
I need a beard to bite.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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