Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
