I wanna bring you to show and tell
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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