i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
