Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
