That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
