a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I have tasted many bathrooms
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
