This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
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