i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
