dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
