My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Randomize
