i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
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