i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
