Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
