Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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