ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Don't tell me you're on acid again
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
