Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
