ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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