Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
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I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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