So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
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