better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
