Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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