The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize