If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize