Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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