The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
