I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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