shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
