I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Randomize
