I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
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