I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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