i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
