she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
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Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Alive.
So much puke
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Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
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