I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
