Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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