Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Randomize
