She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
