What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
i out mim tonsoeep
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