sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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