What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
