i just had sex bonerless
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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