I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
