You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
