there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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