haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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