My liver just broke up with me...
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
